Autumn is my favorite time of the year

 I just finished reading the book Passages in Caregiving by Gail Sheehy. For anyone considering or currently taking on the role of caregiver for a loved one, I would highly recommend this book. Since August of this year, the lives of those living under the roof of our home has deeply changed, not for the good and not for the bad... it's just change, pure and simple. When my husband and I decided to welcome my 86 year old mother into our home, we anticipated some adjustment, but I believe no one can do enough to plan and prepare when care giving is concerned.  My mother has adult onset diabetes along with dementia/early Alzheimer's. While she is still able to remember us, walk with the assistance of her walker, feed herself, and use the toilet, she is totally dependent upon her caregiver(s) for her care and basic day-to-day needs. The photo (above) is a treasure that I found amongst mom's stuff this summer as I cleaned up her house in preparation for her move; pictured (l to r) are my dear father, my mom, and me.

I'm pledging today to begin this blog in dedication to my mother, Sannay mi nanka (her Hochunk name) who bore and raised me to be the healthy, independent, creative, and immensely happy woman that I am today. I attribute a lot of my demeanor, tenacity, and patience to mom's consistent loving care coupled with her curt style of discipline. Over the years whenever I felt that I was at a crossroads, I'd call mom. I'll never forget one of her pearls of wisdom that she shared with me when I was in my early 20's. She said, "Honey, the book of Melanie has already been written, it's just up to you to have the strength and courage to turn the pages."

Well, in approximately three months this crazy Hochunk woman (me) will be turning 50 years old. (My mother can't believe that I've passed her up as she's been 39 ever since I can remember.) If I equate my life to the book that my mom referred to, I figure that due to the crazy and full life that I've lived to date, I've got to be on chapter 27, at least! And this is fitting, too because I always tell my students that I feel like a 27 year old woman trapped in a soon-to-be 50 year old body. I've been hoping to find a support group to meet with on a weekly or monthly basis, but unfortunately to date I haven't been able to find one close by or to identify a helper to stay with mom while I'm away. So today I throw out my thoughts and feelings into cyberspace in hopes that my experiences as primary caregiver to my mom will help me in my transition as minute by minute, day by day, I learn and relearn to "trust the process" of life.