Giving Thanks

In my opinion, one of the best video projects to date that integrates the Native and non-native perspective about the American holiday known as Thanksgiving is the PBS American Experience production, We Shall Remain, episode 1. “For those who follow the pilgrims across the Atlantic, the first Thanksgiving would enter into national mythology where it remains the bright opening chapter of the American creation story. For the Wampanoag and for Massasoit, the memory of that day would recede into darker places, shadowed by betrayal and loss.”

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/weshallremain/the_films/episode_1_trailer

Yesterday, as I shared the table with my Arizona family, I reflected upon my childhood when at the very same table at my parent’s home in Wisconsin, many Hochunk and non-Hochunk relatives would gather together in the spirit of gratitude for all of the blessings received from our Creator.  And yesterday, who was absent from our table at mealtime? Unfortunately, it was Mom. While others passed the various platters and bowls that contained all of the traditional Thanksgiving fare, Mom chose to stay in her chair, eat from her tray, and bask in the company of the local broadcast of Macy’s Thanksgiving parade.  I excused myself numerous times to check on her and sit with her, as her enjoyment of the food faded into her need for several long naps that filled the majority of her day. This was her first Thanksgiving in Arizona. Although she had spent many winter months with us in the past, her visits always took place after the Christmas holiday and depending upon the success of her beloved Packers, after the Superbowl. As I looked at her as she slept in her comfy chair, in spite of the conversation and laughter that filled our dining room, I wondered if we would be blessed to share another future Thanksgiving with Mom.

Our tribe designated today, November 26^th, as Hochunk Day.  It was a special day for Dr. Helen Miner Miller, Steven Kirkwood, and Mom as the Hochunk Nation honored them because of their commitment to the future and well-being of their people, the Hochunk (Winnebago) people of Wisconsin. These three elders are the last remaining members of the original Wisconsin Winnebago Business Committee members, and they were responsible for working together for countless volunteer hours to organize the tribe back in the early 1960’s. Their combined effort resulted in our tribe’s ability to gain federal recognition in 1963.  My sister suggested using Skype to connect Mom in Arizona with the folks back in Wisconsin and thanks to cyberspace mom was able to participate in the event held in Black River Falls. It was pretty cool to see Mom’s reaction to this new way of connecting with others, as well as her ability to visit in both English and Hochunk with her sister, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and other relatives. It was priceless; today was a good day to be a Hochunk.

Thankfully, to date my Mom is doing well. She’s still able to feed herself, communicate her needs, walk with the assistance of her walker to the bathroom and her bedroom, come up with some good one-liners from time to time, and tell all of us how thankful she is for all that we’re doing for her. She can’t dress herself, stand up by herself, or remember vital information such as the date and time, where she is, when she needs her medication, and when she ate her last meal. Most days she calls me by her sister Alberta’s Hochunk name, Ha Hay Monee. After reading the book, The 36 Hour Day, I’ve learned not to correct her but rather tell her how grateful I am that I remind her of her sister.  I’m glad that comments like this facilitate opportunities for Mom and I to talk. The challenge for us now is to avoid those moments that remind her that she’s gradually losing more of her abilities to remember things and to actively engage in day-to-day activities.

This Thanksgiving was especially significant to me. I am thankful to have my mother with me in Arizona even though her needs have resulted in many adjustments to the life that my husband and I shared prior to her arrival. I trust that this chapter in our lives will only make our relationship stronger. I am thankful for all of my elders and ancestors that have passed, as their good times and hardships have helped to shape my life and the lives of all of my relations. I am thankful for the legacy that was given to my people by my mother, my Nanee Helen and Mr. Kirkwood. I trust that their example of dedication to the well-being of others and willingness to give freely of themselves without compensation will last with me and others as we work together to remember, to maintain our culture, and to value our lifeways for generations to come.  And lastly, I am thankful for the responsibility of being my mother’s primary caregiver and ally. I trust that I will be able to serve my mom with the love and kindness that she deserves and to respect and teach the young one’s about all that she has done for them.